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Cutie Mark Adventure Pt. 1
A lone bounty hunter by the name Daniel traveled to Ponyville to catch a crook, along the way there he met Derpy, a wall eyed pegasus with whom he formed a strong bond with, little did he know that he would be thrust into a battle that would determine the fate of Equestria. As he went about his business a ancient and very evil pony called Dark Side performed a ritual that merged his body with Princess Celestia. With the help of Derpy, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Apple Jack, and Trixie they defeated Dark Side and saved Equestria.
6 months later...
Princess Celestias School for Gifted Unicorns, it's a very exclusive school where only the most talented unicorns can study. The students enter as fillies, usually with no cutie mark and leave as young adults. Unicorns that study there learn powerful magic that most can never dream to learn.
There is one student that stands out among them, a young adult named Stella. Most adults ponies would have gotten their cutie mark long ago but Stella never got hers. Princess Celestia has taken note of Stella and has sent her on trips to different towns to try to get her cutie mark, but all trips end with no cutie mark.
It is mid afternoon and Stella is studying hard, her silver body leaning over a book. Her golden mane, styled like Twilights, flows as a breeze from an open window blows in, her bronze eyes focused on the book.
"Let's see if I can get this right on the first try." said Stella.
Her eyes close and her horn glows, a rubix cube hovers in front of her and begins to twist, after a few moments she sets the cube down and looks at it.
"Solved it with my eyes closed." said Stella.
Having studies at Princess Celestias School for Gifted Ponies, Stellas magic is top notch, almost as good as Twilight Sparkles. Her lack of cutie mark has made her well known at the school, nopony makes fun of her though, instead they all encourage her to discover herself. Stella couldn't care less about her cutie mark however.
"I don't need a cutie mark to know what I'm good at." Stella often said.
As Stella puts the book away a letter arrives for her.
Dear Stella,
I have arranged for to you to go on a trip to Ponyville to try to get your cutie mark. Be ready in the morning.
Signed, Princess Celestia.
"Great, another trip to discover myself, what fun and I'll surely get my cutie mark this time since my other trips were SO successful." thought Stella.
Stella was being sarcastic though, to her these trips were a waste of time that could be used for studying. She knows she doesn't have a choice though and begins to pack.
The next morning Stella prepares to leave for Ponyville.
"Ok, I double checked my list, I'm ready to go" said Stella.
Stella went to where the chariot was waiting.
"Let's get this over with." said Stella.
The trip was uneventful, as they landed in Ponyville she thanked the guards as they left.
Stella checked her list, she was to meet with Twilight Sparkle and go from there. Stella made her way to the library when she got there she was about to knock when the door swung open revealing Twilight.
"There you are." said Twilight.
Twilight pulled Stella in the library and began to scold her.
"You're late." said Twilight.
"I'm only like 2 minutes late." replied Stella.
"That means we have 2 minutes less to get your cutie mark." said Twilight.
"I don't care about some stupid cutie mark." said Stella.
Twilight gasped.
"Don't get me wrong here Twilight, I appreciate what you're doing here but I just don't see the appeal of a cutie mark." said Stella.
"Your cutie mark is the result of finding your special talent, it's very important that you get it now that you're an adult." said Twilight.
"So, what will we do first in this futile attempt for me to get my cutie mark?" asked Stella.
"Well according to my list, the first thing we'll try is to help Rarity and see if your cutie mark is for making dresses." said Twilight.
The 2 unicorns go outside and are confronted by Apple Jack.
"Listen Twilight, I really need your help, oh sorry I didn't know you had a guest." said Apple Jack.
"It's ok, Princess Celestia asked me to help Stella here get her cutie mark." said Twilight.
"Now hold on here you're saying your friend Stella here doesn't have a cutie mark despite being an adult pony?" asked Apple jack.
"Yes." answered Stella as she showed Apple Jack her blank flank.
"What did you need again Apple Jack?" asked Twilight Sparkle.
"Oh right, somepony keeps stealing apples and we can't catch him." answered Apple Jack.
"I'll help." said Stella.
"I'll help too, just let me recalculate our day and adjust the list." said Twilight.
"We can do that later, let's find this crook first." said Stella.
"But we're already late on our list, if we don't hurry up we'll be tardy." said Twilight.
"Twilight, I don't really care, I just want to help Apple Jack, ok?" said Stella.
"Stella, do you have any idea how much work it'll take to recalculate everything?" asked Twilight.
"Twilight, we don't need a list, I already know this trip is futile." said Stella.
"What am I going to do with you?" said Twilight as she went back inside and slammed the door.
"Awkward..." said Apple Jack.
"Yeah, let's start by going to the scene of the crime." said Stella.
"Ok Stella, follow me." said Apple Jack.
End of Part 1
A lone bounty hunter by the name Daniel traveled to Ponyville to catch a crook, along the way there he met Derpy, a wall eyed pegasus with whom he formed a strong bond with, little did he know that he would be thrust into a battle that would determine the fate of Equestria. As he went about his business a ancient and very evil pony called Dark Side performed a ritual that merged his body with Princess Celestia. With the help of Derpy, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Apple Jack, and Trixie they defeated Dark Side and saved Equestria.
6 months later...
Princess Celestias School for Gifted Unicorns, it's a very exclusive school where only the most talented unicorns can study. The students enter as fillies, usually with no cutie mark and leave as young adults. Unicorns that study there learn powerful magic that most can never dream to learn.
There is one student that stands out among them, a young adult named Stella. Most adults ponies would have gotten their cutie mark long ago but Stella never got hers. Princess Celestia has taken note of Stella and has sent her on trips to different towns to try to get her cutie mark, but all trips end with no cutie mark.
It is mid afternoon and Stella is studying hard, her silver body leaning over a book. Her golden mane, styled like Twilights, flows as a breeze from an open window blows in, her bronze eyes focused on the book.
"Let's see if I can get this right on the first try." said Stella.
Her eyes close and her horn glows, a rubix cube hovers in front of her and begins to twist, after a few moments she sets the cube down and looks at it.
"Solved it with my eyes closed." said Stella.
Having studies at Princess Celestias School for Gifted Ponies, Stellas magic is top notch, almost as good as Twilight Sparkles. Her lack of cutie mark has made her well known at the school, nopony makes fun of her though, instead they all encourage her to discover herself. Stella couldn't care less about her cutie mark however.
"I don't need a cutie mark to know what I'm good at." Stella often said.
As Stella puts the book away a letter arrives for her.
Dear Stella,
I have arranged for to you to go on a trip to Ponyville to try to get your cutie mark. Be ready in the morning.
Signed, Princess Celestia.
"Great, another trip to discover myself, what fun and I'll surely get my cutie mark this time since my other trips were SO successful." thought Stella.
Stella was being sarcastic though, to her these trips were a waste of time that could be used for studying. She knows she doesn't have a choice though and begins to pack.
The next morning Stella prepares to leave for Ponyville.
"Ok, I double checked my list, I'm ready to go" said Stella.
Stella went to where the chariot was waiting.
"Let's get this over with." said Stella.
The trip was uneventful, as they landed in Ponyville she thanked the guards as they left.
Stella checked her list, she was to meet with Twilight Sparkle and go from there. Stella made her way to the library when she got there she was about to knock when the door swung open revealing Twilight.
"There you are." said Twilight.
Twilight pulled Stella in the library and began to scold her.
"You're late." said Twilight.
"I'm only like 2 minutes late." replied Stella.
"That means we have 2 minutes less to get your cutie mark." said Twilight.
"I don't care about some stupid cutie mark." said Stella.
Twilight gasped.
"Don't get me wrong here Twilight, I appreciate what you're doing here but I just don't see the appeal of a cutie mark." said Stella.
"Your cutie mark is the result of finding your special talent, it's very important that you get it now that you're an adult." said Twilight.
"So, what will we do first in this futile attempt for me to get my cutie mark?" asked Stella.
"Well according to my list, the first thing we'll try is to help Rarity and see if your cutie mark is for making dresses." said Twilight.
The 2 unicorns go outside and are confronted by Apple Jack.
"Listen Twilight, I really need your help, oh sorry I didn't know you had a guest." said Apple Jack.
"It's ok, Princess Celestia asked me to help Stella here get her cutie mark." said Twilight.
"Now hold on here you're saying your friend Stella here doesn't have a cutie mark despite being an adult pony?" asked Apple jack.
"Yes." answered Stella as she showed Apple Jack her blank flank.
"What did you need again Apple Jack?" asked Twilight Sparkle.
"Oh right, somepony keeps stealing apples and we can't catch him." answered Apple Jack.
"I'll help." said Stella.
"I'll help too, just let me recalculate our day and adjust the list." said Twilight.
"We can do that later, let's find this crook first." said Stella.
"But we're already late on our list, if we don't hurry up we'll be tardy." said Twilight.
"Twilight, I don't really care, I just want to help Apple Jack, ok?" said Stella.
"Stella, do you have any idea how much work it'll take to recalculate everything?" asked Twilight.
"Twilight, we don't need a list, I already know this trip is futile." said Stella.
"What am I going to do with you?" said Twilight as she went back inside and slammed the door.
"Awkward..." said Apple Jack.
"Yeah, let's start by going to the scene of the crime." said Stella.
"Ok Stella, follow me." said Apple Jack.
End of Part 1
Part 1 of Cutie Mark Adventure. We meet Stella here and find out there is a theft, will Stella and Apple Jack get to the bottom of this? Find out next part.
MLP copyright Hasbro.
Stop, all content above can not be copied, edited in anyway including tracing, or re uploaded in part or in whole without given permission from me.
MLP copyright Hasbro.
Stop, all content above can not be copied, edited in anyway including tracing, or re uploaded in part or in whole without given permission from me.
© 2012 - 2024 Uber-Dan
Comments6
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Hmm...not bad, but there are a few ways you could improve the writing. I'd start with avoiding things that sound repetitive, such as in the third paragraph where 'cutie mark' is mentioned twice in the same sentence. Finding different ways to say the same thing varies up your writing and makes it more interesting.
Also, try your best to describe things to help the reader visualize them. Set the stage and characters; you don't need to go into excessive detail, just enough to give a mental image. Try not to rely on comparisons to things the reader may not know. For example, since I don't watch MLP, I don't know how Stella's hair is styled because I don't know how Twilight's is, or what the other canon cast members are like (beyond what fan art pops up on dA sometimes).
I'm not trying to grill you here. Just some food for thought. Don't worry about writing perfectly or anything, you can always improve with time. You can really only go up!
Also, try your best to describe things to help the reader visualize them. Set the stage and characters; you don't need to go into excessive detail, just enough to give a mental image. Try not to rely on comparisons to things the reader may not know. For example, since I don't watch MLP, I don't know how Stella's hair is styled because I don't know how Twilight's is, or what the other canon cast members are like (beyond what fan art pops up on dA sometimes).
I'm not trying to grill you here. Just some food for thought. Don't worry about writing perfectly or anything, you can always improve with time. You can really only go up!